moving on

Well, we are moving on. Found out a friend was looking to rent out a couple of rooms on the beach. Timing couldn't have been more perfect. So we decided to take him up on the offer. I would describe the thought process that my husband and I had to go through to make this last minute decision, but that would take hours. And I have a list, a VERY long, list of things to do, between our business, my teaching, this house, the beach house, and millions of other things. So perhaps, I'll save that story for later. For now, I just need to focus, tackle my list of things to do, and multi-task like there's no tomorrow!

in five days: our house up for auction

Talk about timing. First thing that pops up on my computer screen this morning is an article about forclosure sales, still on the rise:

EXTRA, EXTRA read all about it!
At Foreclosure Auctions, Broken Dreams on Sale

Yep, that's us. In less than 5 days, our house is going up for auction. At least as far as we know. We turned in our modification loan docs, and so far, it doesn't look very promising.

I wonder. Can I buy my own house back for $7,000.00 if no one else wants it? What if I just pay cash for another house? Is there a rule against that?

It kind of reminds me of playing Monopoly. But only for those who were fortunate enough not to have suffered from financial hardship because of loss of income - whether if it was from being laid off, or from getting hit hard as a business owner. Too bad it isn't that easy.

My husband and I are going to the auction - our own auction - on Monday, just to see how it plays out. Hundreds of homes are listed for foreclosure in our county, and I am curious to find out how fast they are being auctioned for. And I am even more curious about who the faces are of these buyers. First timers? Investors? Slum lords?

I had always imagined I'd be on the other side of that line, as an investor, buying homes for dirt cheap. But maybe it's better this way, because in these types of situations, I'd hate to be 'the one' who gained an advantage as a result of people's series of unfortunate events. This whole crisis deal has bad karma written all over it, I just don't want it coming back to haunt me. So, for the moment, I'll just deal with the suffering, and just look forward to the simple life I've always wanted.

It's kind of like this:

We were on our ship. And during the storm, we fell off. We have been trying our best to keep our heads above water. Sink or swim. We are swimming like you wouldn't believe. Our arms are tired. We are out of breath. And our ship is still there. In the short distance, it's right there! We are almost there.

We see a helicopter. They throw a life saver. But that's it, "Here you go, good luck..." They leave us in the water and fly away.

Before we even have a chance to register - 'what was that all about?' - we see damn pirates boarding our ship as they sail away in the sunset, not even noticing the two souls left behind.


Related Article:
At foreclosure auctions, broken dreams on sale

3 words of the day: sick. tired. helpless.

I have been really good (so good I should get an award for it) about keeping strong and positive in light of our situation. But boy, was today a bad day...or was it? I don't know anymore. Perhaps it was just a bad night. That's what it was, and now I can't sleep.

My husband has had a horrible cough, and it was actually a relapse of a flu that he got a couple of weeks ago...a relapse, probably due to stress. He hasn't been feeling all that great. Just real shitty. Congested chest. Stuffy nose one minute, runny the next. Cough attacks. Head congestion. Tired, puffy eyes. He just looks exhausted. Burnt out. And he is.

He does everything. Being a contractor is pretty intense and very stressful. He has his cell phone glued to his ear from the early morning hours, well into the evening hours. He is constantly driving, picking up material from suppliers and dropping it off at different job sites.

He has no choice (because our overhead is already through the roof) but to micro-manage, while taking care of his crew and digging in the dirt. He is in the scorching sun all day long, all the while providing the best, personalized customer-service to clients.

(On a side note, what ever happened to customer service nowadays?)

And it doesn't end when he gets home, because that is where our office is...paper work, emails, proposals, call-backs, etc. And it sucks even more, as we can't seem to catch up on our bills. All of this hard work, and nothing to show for it.

I don't like seeing him like this, sick and exhausted. He never gets sick. He told me tonight that he was literally sick. Sick and Tired.

My husband is supposed to be the strong one. The rock. The one that doesn't let the little things get to him. The one that makes me laugh. The comedian. The one that reminds me that everything is going to be alright. But not tonight. I could see it in his eyes. He is spent.

And all I wanted to do was cry. Am I crazy? I just feel helpless sometimes, and I don't like that feeling. The cheerful spirit inside of me just died in a moment's notice. I just knew that a fresh glass of O.J. nor a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup would soothe his soul.

But maybe compassion, love, and understanding would. It was another humble moment as a salty tear rolled down my cheek...this sucks.

POSTED: NOTICE OF TRUSTEE'S SALE (it's official)

Notice of Trustee's Sale

Well, we got an official NOTICE OF TRUSTEE'S SALE - in other words our house is going up for auction - posted on our gate today (that's not embarassing, or anything)...and coincidentally, we received it on the same day that we had an appointment with our lawyer to start our long awaited loan modification process. Our meeting went surprisingly well, and it was also quite a relief to have at least started the process. Amazingly, I haven't pulled any hair out in the last 48 hours. Oh, wait. I lied.

Loan Modification: prepping the documents

The anticipation of meeting with our lawyer is always a grueling experience-let me repeat, Grueling, with a big fat capital "G". I find it a challenge for me to gather legal and financial documents together, especially when trying to understand the jargon of law and finance. Here's the problem: I look at the document. I see terminology that I am not familiar with. I freak out.

Then my husband (laughing at me, because he thinks it's 'cute') re-assures me that I am not the only one, "Babe, that's why we have a lawyer; so she can interpret foreign concepts into layman's terms and guide us in the right direction."

(Okay, whew! So I'm NOT the only clueless one - a college graduate, mind you - that doesn't understand what the "F" is being said in these documents?)

My husband and I had sacrificed our entire weekend frantically gathering all of the required documents needed to get our loan modification started. As a married couple, it is definitely a challenge to be on best behavior; at times we were almost helpless, like tired, restless children who haven't had their afternoon snacks or naps yet. But we did good, and reminded each other that we should focus on the task at hand and that we need to try our best to avoid any arguments and blaming that would just make our already horrible situation a living hell.

So we rustled through stacks of organized (and not-so-organized) files: lengthy legal documents, pleading hardship forms, profit and loss statements, wrinkled receipts, bank statements, utility bills, decades worth of student loans, and other outstanding liabilities. "Liabilities." I just cringe when I hear that nasty word. The midnight hour was haunting us like the Grim Reaper.

But we did it. We got it together. Thankfully, we got through the already torturous process with just a couple of minor arguments, none of which had anything to do with our financial mess. In fact, one argument was over whether we should F**k it and grab In-N-Out for dinner (Because who cares? We're gonna die of a heart attack anyway). And what was the other one? Oh yeah, my husband stole the pen I was using. I had it first.

After all was said and done, we exchanged kisses as we always do, reminded each other that if we don't save the house, then at least we still have each other, and we went to bed. I never slept so well.

sleepless nights

INSOMNIA...in-som-nee-uh
noun. Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth EditionCopyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.


Ummm...yeah, that would be me...and intrestingly enough you can also use this word in the form of an adjective...


INSOMNIOUS
adjective.
Dictionary.com UnabridgedBased on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.


...as well as it's official medical term...
AGRYPNIA-prolonged and usually abnormal inability to obtain adequate sleep.
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.


...and of course we cannot forget a little tidbit about insomnia's Word Origin & History...
1623, Anglicized as insomnie, from L. insomnia "want of sleep," from in- "not" + somnus "sleep". The modern form is from 1758. Insomniac (n.) is from 1908.
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper


...wow this blogging thing does wonders. I am suddenly feeling sleeeepy, very, very sleeeeepy...

leaving the jones program

My wife and I love to surf, hike, camp, travel and enjoy the outdoors, but we are finding ourselves getting sucked into the fast paced Southern Cal-just-barely-makin'-it lifestyle, and it is a burn out. So, we are going to try an experiment, since we are losing our home anyway-oh, did I forget to mention that? We are going to liquidate, put the 'must keeps' in storage, and travel for a year or so while we figure things out.

How are we going to pull this off? Not sure....BUT one of our goals is to inspire others that have gone through the crap that we've been going through, and share our story with those who have similar lifestyle ambitions. Our dream is to have the freedom to live various places around the world for weeks, months or years at a time, and to be able to work when it is convenient for us and not have to start and stop new jobs everytime we move around. We are finding more and more people in our lives that are tired of the Jones program and doing something about it.

Sometimes it takes a personal crisis to say, "F-it, lets just do it."

Are we crazy?

over it

I'm over it. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled kid, but we have spent the last ten years busting our asses trying to come up in this system, and we have gotten nowhere but in the hole. We were doing everything right, running a landscape design and install business, investing the profits into our home and a small nursery and now we are on the verge of losing just about everything. We could have spent the last ten years taking it easy, going on vacations, staying in shape etc...

We are at a major cross roads in our lives. Should we get back on the horse and try to climb out of the hole and try to save as much stuff as we can? Or liquidate everything and go travel for a while and see what happens? I know we are not the only ones, but this recession has turned our lives upside down.

The cars, the house, the yard, the career, the bills, the cell phone, the e-mail, the endless list of things to do. How did life get so complicated? I don't think people were meant to live life this fast.